Personal Best

I usually do a "By the numbers" on Facebook as they are usually written with with a comedic slant, and I'm enough of an attention whore that I want enough people to read it that will tell me how much they enjoy my writing and then that is my mental chocolate chip cookie for a few months. However, SavMil has a very small audience. Smart, dangerous and cool, yes, but also small. And this blog isn't for everybody, it is very much about my journey through life, my work on myself, and whatever tiny musings I might have. A personal account with no sarcastic half-wits bringing it down.

But I ramble.

So, I thought I would do a BTN on SavMil about personal things. Good, bad, I don't know yet. I suppose I will steer this boat into the iceberg-infested waters and find out.

By The Numbers:

Number of times I've been rejected by a woman in 2012: Three
Actual number of women that have actually rejected me: Zero
Number of "He's really a sweet guy." my sister was told by one of those three: A 'few'
Number of dates with Racist Carol: One
Number of times Racist Carol said something racist on that date: Twice
Number of times I cried while watching Dumbo with my nieces: Shut up
Number, in dollars, I've loaned to friends/family this year: $2,050
Number, in dollars, I've been paid back so far: Nothing
Percentage of how bothered I am of that: Zero percentage, +/- 3% margin of error
Odds of Han Solo successfully navigating an asteroid field: 3,720 to 1
Odds of any future Star Wars property being good: 19,000,000,000 to 1
Number of Felicia Day fan-fictions I've written: Haha! Where.. where did you hear that? Not me!
Number of times my sister was assaulted by a crazy boyfriend: Once, that I know of
Number of holes I want to put into said crazy (now ex-)boyfriend: Many.
Number of days we have left with the people we love: Not enough

Hope eternal, the phoenix rises

Self-pity begat depression. Depression begat self-reflection. Self-reflection begat internal upgrades. Internal upgrades begat external upgrades. External upgrades begat change as a whole. This change has made me realize that I am a decent person. I can finally love myself.

Not that way, you sicko.

Loving myself let me be funny and open again. And that begat happiness. The kind of happiness that can only come from within. And with that change and happiness, my little inner light shined. And I wasn't the only one.

As more develops, I'll open up more about it. Really looking forward to writing again.

Shine, you little light, shine.